The charge softens
With calm eye movements, the sharpest edge of the feeling softens. The memory stays; the sense of being overwhelmed eases.
Unprocessed grief
Sometimes everything stops. This helps it move again.
Grief that has stayed colours everything, long after others expect you to have moved on. A death, a redundancy, a relationship that ended, an illness, or the sense that you lost yourself somewhere along the way. The grief doesn't have to disappear. But the sharpest edge can soften, and there can be room beside it again.
Take the first step
Book a free introductory call or send a short question.
You might recognise this
You function. You do your work, you show up for others. And at the same time it feels as if something heavy is sitting on your chest that won't lift.
The grief comes in waves. Just as you think it is settling, it hits again — sometimes for no clear reason.
You notice you avoid things. Places, conversations, memories. And quietly you wonder whether something is wrong with you, because it is taking so long.
Nothing is wrong with you. Grief keeps no schedule. But when it has got stuck, you can help it move again.
How I help you with this
I work with IEMT — Integral Eye Movement Technique. This is not talking therapy where you have to relive your whole story. It works on the layer where the grief settled: the emotional charge, and the sentence about yourself you started believing after the loss.
What stands still starts to move
After a loss, life often comes to a standstill. I invite you to move within your own mental space — where the grief sits, which way it wants to go. That movement shows what is needed.
You set the pace
If the softening is enough, it stops there. If you want to go further — to keep developing — a programme can follow. Now, or later. That is your call.
IEMT is not a universal answer. It often works surprisingly well, and sometimes it doesn't work this time — that is information too. With severe or acute grief, I refer you on to suitable help. I am an IEMT coach, not a therapist, and I am honest about that.
The first step
Start with a conversation
You don't need to have it all figured out. A short introductory call is enough to look at where you are together and whether my way of working suits you.
No obligation, no preparation needed. Just a calm conversation of about 20 minutes.
Who guides you through this
I'm Mitchel Heitinga. I have worked with people who want to change something since 2010, and I use IEMT to get grief that has stayed moving again. I trained with Andrew T. Austin, who developed IEMT, and with Roni Matar.
I work almost entirely online — which suits this work well — and in person by arrangement. No grand promises, no pressure. Just a calm, honest way to look at what is going on for you and what can shift.
Frequently asked questions
How long until grief softens?
It differs from person to person and loss to loss. Sometimes you notice something after one exercise; sometimes you need more. There is no schedule you have to keep to.
Do I have to tell my whole story again?
No. IEMT does not take the memory as its starting point. We work on the feeling and on what holds it in place, not on retelling what happened.
Will I lose the memory or the bond?
No. The grief and the memory stay. What eases is the sense of being overwhelmed.
Does grief after redundancy or a break-up count too?
Yes. Loss is more than a death. If something you were attached to was taken from you, that grief is allowed.
Is this therapy?
No. I am an IEMT coach and work outside the clinical framework. With clinical concerns, I refer you on.
Does this work online?
Yes, almost all of my work happens online.
When you're ready
You don't have to decide anything big today. You can start with the exercise and see what happens. And if you want to look further after that, I'm here.